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October

Economic and Community Development

• Mon12 - RLI Training 3 (Country)

• Fri 16 -18 - RYPEN Camp

• Mon 19 - NYSF Orientation Evening

• Mon 19 - RLI Traing 4 (Metro)

HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

VOLUNTEERS WANTED!! Tuesday 10th November At the DIK Warehouse Shed 40, No. 400 Somerville Rd West Footscray https://goo.gl/maps/QRzapeqsG8x CAN YOU HELP? We are loading another container with Hospital Beds for the Rotary Hospital Bed Bank or ‘Banco Rotario de Catres Clinicos’ in southern Chile. We intend to load 60 beds, 60 mattresses, walkers, commodes, shower seats and other mobility equipment …

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Dental "Digge'rs" Doings in East Timor

Dental "Digge'rs" Doings in East Timor

PP Ricardo forwards a report about a recent trip to East Timor by a Volunteer Dental Team at the Maubara Dental Clinic. The report is a great example of the work that the team led David Digges accomplished and that hopefully we can look forward to similar success stories from our commitment to the Balibo Dental Clinic when completed. Dental …

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BJK Dinner Gallery

The Full Gallery of the Life in Crime Dinner is available from the front page

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An assortment of the  latest media doing the rounds for your amusement, amazement or horror as the case may be. Definitely NOT PC

 

The Lighter Side

of

Just about Everything

Public facilities


Lake Burley Griffin

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Secretary David advises that Threat Levels vary form Country to Country

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when Custard Cream supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgium does not have a government, so is incapable of having any warning level. All on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the modern Spanish fleet can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

Meanwhile in the southern hemisphere...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end riscue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position, called Bondi.
It might be worth noting that New Zealand would be unable to raise an army as its soldiers are all currently deployed playing orcs in the upcoming Hobbit movie.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled." It should be noted that there has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level 

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WHO announces processed meats could be carcinogenic

Red meat could also be harmful

 

Definitely

Did Not see that Coming

However you know Its Scientific

 

Wasn't it Kevin Bacon who invented the periodic table