Presidents Report (6)

An induction of a new member, a visit and presentation from our District Governor, Ivan MacKay were the highlights of last Monday nights Rotary Meeting.

Welcome to our newest member, Guneyt Karayalcin. Guneyt has already shown his willingness to assist our club,  his inclusion will be a beneficial to all and his friendly manner will be enjoyed by everyone.  We also thank Hulya, his wife for her support!

We also welcomed James and Marta Wright who were visiting our club for the second time last night! Also Assistant Governor, Alan Freedman has attended for his third visit! It was also a pleasure to welcome Ivan’s lovely wife Marilyn to our meeting!

Apologies

• Leo is away until Wednesday
• Sue has a board meeting tonight
• Jane is still absent due to her studies,  but should be back soon
• Ricardo has just become a Grand Father, and will be jetting off to Hong Kong  to meet Maxwell Krauskopf after arriving back from Chile last week
• Robyn has commitments once every month,  tonight’s the night

• RCPM and this years Theme

President Grant is warming to this years theme of:  Building Communities – Bridging Continents and pointed out that so far this year we have:

• Already Visited DIK and packed shorts and shirts ready for distribution
• Collected and Donated Clothes to the Community Chest
• Had 5 members and friends attended Tree Planting at Broadford
• Have at least 3 members willing to volunteer for the “Chill Out Zones”
• We have agreed to retain our Every Rotarian, Every Year Centurion status
• Planning for other projects is in progress, Including the Balibo Fort Project
• Planning has commenced for our first breakfast meeting!

President Grant opined that although small, we are enthusiastic and we are certainly helping to progress the theme through our actions, not words alone. He hoped that the induction of Gunyet later in the evening will presage the start of enlarging our membership to allow us to meet community needs and aspiration here and abroad.

Sergeant Session

Our Sergeant session was lively as usual and included, Geri being fined for hitting our Assistant Governor, only Paul knew that the “weekend massacre in the west” referred to Geelong massacring the Bulldogs. Paul also knew the sergeant’s reference to “Presidents in Trouble” referred to Jeff Kennett and not I,  Paul was fined for knowing too much.  Paul also know which Dwarf Survived (see below)

The Sergeants Conundrum

Rotary Affairs

• What is this year’s theme?
• Who is not wearing their pin?
• Who has not visited our website this week?
• Tell me the 4 way test

Current Affairs

• Weekend massacre in the west?  They are just animals! What am I talking about?
  Cats vs. Dogs -  101 point win to cats
• Presidents in trouble?
  Alistair Lynch, Hawthorn Coach would not shake Jeff Kenetts hand after their win on the weekend

Snow  White & The Seven Dwarfs.

The  seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early  each morning.  As  always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic  chores and make them lunch and take it too the mine.

One  day as she arrived at the mine with the  lunch, she  saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow  White began  calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow  survived. ‘Hello…Hello  !’ she shouted.    ‘Can anyone hear me ?

For  a long while, there was no answer.   Losing  hope, Snow  White again shouted,

‘Hello  !    Is  anyone down  there ?’

Just  as she was about to give up all hope, she  heard a  faint voice from deep within the mine,

“VOTE GREENS”

Snow  White fell to her knees and prayed,  ‘Oh, thank  you, God !
At least Dopey is still alive !  ‘

Guest Speaker

District Governor Ivan MacKay

Ivan advised that there were 532 Rotary Districts in the world, 70 clubs in our District 9800, with 12 Clusters. Iven also explained that his Maroon Jacket is the colour selected by Ray Klinginsmith our Rotary International President for all District Goobers to wear world wide.

He also noted that our club was a busy and active club and did a lot given our small membership base. He passed on the messages fro Ray Klinginsmith, that it is time to create change at District Level and at Club Level with the emphasis on bigger, better bolder clubs.

Rotary and out district needs to grow as well as focusing on membership retention.  We need new members, younger members. Clubs need also to focus on fellowship, which is a vital ingredient for success.

He encourages all clubs to support the Rotary Foundation, the Rotary Leadership Institute, Group Study Exchange (Texas this year), get involved with Camp Getaway, do a makeup,  and get to know other clubs and Rotarians.

He encouraged our members to wear or badge as it says we are dependable, reliable and quality people who give more than they take!

He thanked our families, for their support to help Rotarians achieve.  Family, Work, Rotary in that order.  (Not sure this applied to DG’s, must check with Marilyn)

Induction of New Member By President Grant

Guneyt Karayalcin

Welcome To Rotary!

You have been chosen for membership in the Rotary Club of Port Melbourne, because your fellow members believe you to be a leader in your vocation.

We look to you to be a liaison between us and the other members of your profession.  We expect you to educate us about your classification, and, on the other hand, it becomes your duty to carry Rotary ideals and principles of service to your friends, business associates, and the members of the vocation which you represent.

While membership in Rotary is an honor and privilege, it involves corresponding obligations.  An important requirement of membership is regular attendance at the weekly meetings.  Only busy people are eligible for membership in our club.

One of the great privileges of Rotary is fellowship, and the mutual confidence which it inspires.  It is always true that, if you want to have friends, you must show yourself to be friendly.  Therefore, we commit ourselves to doing our part to make you feel welcome.  In return, we expect that you will share the responsibility for the development of closer personal relationships, which will be to our mutual benefit.

Good Rotarians must constantly keep before them the primary object of Rotary.  “Service Above Self” is our motto, and Rotary expects each member to live up to this ideal.

The community will know and judge Rotary through your example in character and service; and we accept you as a member because we believe the principles and objects of Rotary will be safe in your keeping.

We know that we will receive much from you in help and service which will enable us to be better Rotarians; and we most heartily offer you the right hand of Rotary fellowship.

On behalf of the Port Melbourne Rotary Club and Rotary International, may I welcome you into our Rotary Wheel – - which faces inward for friendship and fellowship and outward in service to our community and to the world.

With the presentation of this Rotary Pin, I declare you to be a member of the Rotary Club of Port Melbourne

Fellow Rotarians please stand.   I present to you our new members Gyneyt Karaayalcin

For members the Phonetic Pronunciation is Car ay al cin

One for Gerard

A French tourist asks an Irishman:
“Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”

To which the Irishman replies:
“If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the ruddy boat.”

	The Presidents Report (5) The week that was!  By invitation from The Rotary Club of Manningham, on Sunday, Robyn, Suzette, Guneyt, Hulya and I went tree planting at Broardford,  which is about 90k up the Hume Highway.  We planted, I estimate nearly 1000 trees.  It was a lovely crisp morning and we were all eager participants. After a very early start we finished around 12:30pm and decided in a pub lunch rather the wait for the BBQ at 1:30pm.  On our drive back,  two of our participants court some zzz zzz’s in the back seat,  while others chatted merrily. We did arrived back in time for Robyn to have a quick change before heading off to second bite. At our meeting on Monday night, we were missing a few of our members due to work and travel commitments. It was Robyn turn to be grilled by the President, did you know; That Robyn’s middle name is Dianne, and that she grew up in Kensington in a double fronted, timber cottage (mansion).  Her earliest memories are quite sad, she cut her knee at age 3 and had to go to hospital for stitches. Robyn did not want to devolve her favourite pastime as a youth, but finally admitted it was boys, and her first Kiss,  too many to remember the first one!  But her first job was at the MCG serving the players. Perhaps this all explains why Robyn now runs a business called Meet at Dinner and doesn’t really know if she is single or not! Robyn barracks for North Melbourne (Member), favourite colour is no longer red,  now blue. No. 1 on her bucket list is to learn to ride a bike. (We must help Robyn here to get her Ready for our Rotary Ride in the You Yangs in October)  Her favourite food is Roast Pork & Lemon Cheese Cake (presumably not together) Thank you Robyn for being “Grilled” Next week we have Colin Muir our District Governor visiting our club and we will also be inducting two new members.  Come along and meet our DG, but more importantly, come along to support our two new Rotarians!
	The Sergeants Session President Grant slipped on the Sergeants brassard so member’s were treated to what normal people would call a session of camera obscura! Fines were liberally applied to the following 1. What is this years theme? 2. August is what Rotary Month? 3. Who has not visited our website this week? 4. Chelsea Clinton has recently been married,  prior to her wedding she was talking to her mum, who asked her if she had had sex with her fiancé Mark?  Chelsea’s reply was?  Not according to Dad! 5. Who am I? Born 10-Sept 1955 198cm, 85kg Played Football for Geelong in 1981 Shares his name with some one in this room
	6. Gunyet for sleeping in the car on way home
Suzette	7. Suzette for continually and inappropriately referring to Sausage
Geri	8. Geri for Testing during President/Sergeants’ address
Robyn	The Victim The Member Profile was Secretary Robyn McDonald and the editor is taking the 5th. So,If you were not present you have missed out on the full skinny
	Twenty QuestionS
	What is your Full name Where did you grow up What is your earliest memory Do you have any siblings What was your favourite pastime as a youth Tell us about your first kiss What was your first job How do you work now Are you married or de-facto Do you have any children, Tell us about them Tell us something we don't know about you When did you join Rotary What football team do you follow What is your favourite colour Do still play any sports or hobbies Do you have a ‘Bucket List’ what is number 1 What was the last movie you saw What is the last meal you cooked or your favourite you cook

.

Presidents Weekly Report (4)

Welcome to another week at Rotary,  last week I visited Central Melbourne Sunrise to hear Sister Trish Franklin speak.  Her work in Vietnam for he Loreto  Sisters is involved in establishing special schools in Vietnam.

Tree Planting is on this Sunday,  at this stage 5 will be attending from our club.  We also have at least 5 volunteers who will be involved with the “Chill Out Zones” project which also is a Central Melbourne Sunrise Project.

A number of our members are still traveling overseas on work and pleasure, but it was great to welcome Suzette back from her Kenya Safari!

The meeting was enthralled by Suzettes brief recounting of some trip highlights and looks forward to a fuller discussion that will give us all the details and some more information on the projects she visited.

The Sergeants Session

President Grant assumed the stripes and commenced by handing the meeting a graphic (below) and then fined the editor big time for the posting (claims it was inadvertent and technology got the better of him) no relief from fining however.

Not content with the editors money the Sgt continued to extract with the following

Any body not wearing their Rotary Badge

Any one not wearing Blue or Red

Anyone not knowing the connection between Kevin Bartlet and Mark Webber (the editor still doesn’t know: not listening too busy crying from last fine)

Ice Nearly Drowns in Water?
(Vanilla Ice, nearly went down with his car after driving through a wall of fire into water,  he was sucked down with the car and rose to the top a few seconds later)

Abbott wants more boats!
(in Queensland, carrying tourists,  $62M commitment to tourism)

Julia doesn’t want Dog Fight!
(At presidents lunch, David Smorgan offered Julia,  Big Bad Barry’s spot, relating to her comments that there was more chance of he being full forward of Bulldogs than of becoming Prime Minister)

Who is on top of AFL Ladder?

The Editors picture sent in error. Very costly paper money mistake!

Some discussion ensued from the picture and its relevance to the BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico and the graphic was removed from the site.

The President’s Report (3)

The Rotary year has commenced and after our first Board Meeting last Wednesday we have listed our main fundraising activities and our main projects that we will be involved with.

All Board members have been sent away with plenty of research, planning and work to do before the next board meeting.

We are all planning on an interesting, fun and rewarding year!

At this weeks meeting, which was attended by Assistant Governor, and Past President of the Rotary Club of Toorak, Alan Freedman, we held a club forum do discuss our plans for the year and fundraising schedule.

Even though we were missing many members on Monday (Gerard Overseas, Ricardo, Jane and Robyn had business commitments) we had an enjoyable night discussing our plans which are summarised below:

Fund Raising

- Australia Day (26th January 2011)
- Free the Dancing Bears Dinner (22nd November 2010)
- Sanitarium Junior Triathlon (Mid March 2011)
- Life Saving Vic Conference (BBQ- Lunch – 2 Days, Early Sep-10)
- Rotary Bike Ride/Walk at You Yangs October 24th

New - 3 x Speaker Breakfast Meetings (1 Mid Sept – TBA)
- 4 x Bunning’s Sausage Sizzle (TBA)

Projects

- International
- Balibo Fort House
- East Timor Kindergarten
Community
- Rotary
- Winter Clothes Donation to Community Chest
- Second Bite
- St Josephs bi-monthly BBQ

Rotary
- RYLA
- Every Rotarian Every Year – Centurion
- Polio Plus
Looking at:
- Rotary Health
- Women’s Cancer
- Feeding Homeless

We look forward to seeing you at the next meeting!

Leo acting as Sgt. called all ashore for all visitors going ashore and welcomed the small but intimate clan to the table and handed the meeting to President Grant who was also Chairman for the day and invited him to commence the meeting.

President Grant opened by commenting that this years theme is titled Building Communities,  Bridging Continents and thinking of our club and what we already do, we are truly Building Communities with

• St Josephs Mission
• Second Bite
• Australia Day

as all these projects are aimed at helping build communities through out support and service.

We are also in the business of Bridging Continents through our East Timor Projects with

Balibo, Tias Market, Kindergarten projects that can also be seen these as bridging continents.

As some stage soon we will be advises of a related/partner club in San Francisco. We are asked to engage President to President, Director to Director.  Another way of bridging continents and expanding our rotary family.

This Wednesday, is our first Board meeting for the Financial Year,  we have a lot on the agenda, including projects, fund-raising, Membership, Rotary District Awards etc. Let us know if you have any ideas that we as a club should be considering.

We will be having a Club Forum at our next meeting,  which will look at our plans for this coming year and into the future.

The president then propose the  Toast to the Rotary Club of Port Melbourne and its small group of committed members!

Presidents Report (2)

It has been a busy week for our Club Members,  On Sunday morning, when most sensible people are in bed Ricardo, Past President Gerri and I attended a RAWCS (Rotary Australia World Community Service) presentation at International House, Parkville.

There were many worthwhile projects on display.  Projects including our own Balibo Fort Restoration,  Sanitation projects in Samoa, Cambodian Kids Foundation,  other projects in  East Timor, Nepal and other parts of the world.

Our Balibo Project received a lot of interest and Ricardo and I are expecting a few opportunities to present the project to other interested clubs.  A big thanks to Ricardo for his efforts in setting up the presentation.

At our Monday meeting Ricardo also led the charge with a presentation to the club on our Balibo project.

It was an enjoyable meeting last night with Sergeant Leo fining session based upon people’s knowledge of things that were last!

Gerard is away overseas until late August!  Bon Voyage Gerard.  It was also nice to welcome a new face, Guneyt, who was visiting our club for the second time.

Our first Board Meeting will be held on Wednesday evening with many Agenda Items under consideration.

We will be having a Club Forum at our next meeting,  which will look at our plans for this coming year and into the future.

Sgt’s Session

The Sgt always alert for “boy things” asked Robyn if she was actually in distress as she was wearing her badge upside down. Robyn said that was how she always was  but that didn’t  save her from being fined.

It just wasn’t Robyn’s night. Fined unmercifully by the Sgt even though wearing her distress sign but she miraculously recovered to answer a number of last questions and cross fine the Sgt.
IPP Gerri paid up when the answer to who was the last man on the moon was not Neil Armstrong and Pharlap was not the last Melbourne Cup winner.
Ricardo played the wrong card on what was the colour of the last card in the World Cup final and left us wanting more when he correctly ‘guessed the last Dg ‘s name.
Grant was paying plenty, a veritable one armed bandit, as the Sgt parleyed his almost correct answers into monetary contributions.
Even the Sgt was caught on the basis that how many VC’s were won by Australians in Russia and when to who was the last winner and his rank as being too boy centric and what with sport history and not a netball question deemed sexist and he was cross fined big time.

A tidy intimate sum was garnered and stockpiled by IPP Geri.

Our guest potential new member Cuynet participated fully and was happily fined by the Sgt.  in an egalitarian mood to provide him with the full Rotary experience.

Guest Speaker

Our speaker this week, was our own member Ricardo  Krauskopf, who brought us up todate on the International Committees doing’s and progress year to date. Ricardos report provides a great result for the club and he was able to present (with very little technical help) a video of the Balibo project that he hopes will go forward this year as one Clubs International Projects.

Ricardo provided us with the complete display that was presented at International House last Sunday. A big well done was extended top Ricardo by President Grant on his untiring efforts to date.

International Report – Ricardo Krauskopf:

Some of our overseas work.  Last Year we delivered 2 projects on East Timor, both of them come under the ‘Sanitation & Public Health’ sector. These were at:

• Macadede Kindergarten, on Atauro Island,
• Tais Market, in Dili.

This year we have had:

(A) The request from the Rotary Club of Valdivia for help with arranging a 1 year stay for a young woman, Marianne Meier, has been finalized;

• • We have found her accommodation
• • Picked her up at the Airport
• • Found her a job.

Please Note, this needs no further work, but it would be an opportunity to invite Marianne to one of our regular meetings as speaker. Her father is the current President at the Valdivia Rotary Club, Chile

(B) We had a request from Bentleigh – Moorabbin Central Rotary club to stand in as ‘verifiers’ for a project of theirs in Balibo, East Timor. The Club is financing the repair of and partial rebuilding of the Balibo Kindergarten which is operated by the Aust. Flag House Foundation. This is the same foundation which has asked us to help with the construction of the Balibo Fort House Hotel.

We have agreed to stand in as verifiers, at no cost. This has resulted in the Bentley Moorabbin club having listed us as co-sponsors of the project, and invested $1000 on our behalf.  As verifiers, our job consist of going to Balibo and giving timely ‘progress reports‘ to the club. The Verifier is in essence there to satisfy the members that the funds are being spend in the manner in which they were intended to.

Please Note; this is yet to be formalised, our contact there is Merv.[more details coming]

(C) We have donated around $8.000 ‘in kind’ to the Australian Flag House Foundation; this consists of 1 site visit to the Balibo Fort House, in company of the Humberto Marum, the architect in charge of the Balibo Fort House Hotel project.

We have also helped the Foundation raise $15.000 in cash toward the project.

We now need to determine if this is a worthy cause for our Club to spend the money on, there are many other requests for help in East Timor and all around our geographical area.

The advantages of this project is that I am working on it anyway[pro bono], so it is easy for me, but it is a very big project, in total A$409.000 plus furniture, etc.

At this stage Grant and I have discussed that we should ask the Foundation to split it up into possibly 5 components, with different clubs taking care of the different components.;

1. Technical advice, e.g. project concept, architect briefing, builders briefing, interior design and furnishing purchase.
   • Rotary Club Port Melbourne
2. Steel components
   • Rotary Club  Melbourne
3. Concrete components
4. Electrical and Plumbing
5. Furniture

Each of these components would then be costed and different clubs could commit to one or the other. Port Melbourne does not have access to a lot of money but can offer technical advice, Melbourne Rotary has the Timor Steel, and could provide the steel components, and Balwyn Rotary has cash and could commit to another component.

All clubs have expressed interest in helping with volunteers.

Please Note; this is ongoing and Port Melbourne must decide what to do with it.

I will suggest to the board that we limit ourselves to a $5000 cash donation, including matching funds and that we take responsibility for Item No.1 [Technical advice] As I said this is simple we have already delivered a fair part of No.1 anyway]

(D) We also have the milk project on Atauro Island and  I am a bit stuck on that one, and anyone wanting to help with this would be very welcome

Ricard0

This Weeks Funny

Tax Time

The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office. The  auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his lawyer

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the ATO finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’  Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realises he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that waste basket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the waste basket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the lawyer. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’

Don’t Mess with Old People!

One for the Road

Life’s Little Lessons aka

Epic Fail